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Joke of the Day
"90% of my opinions are a shrug."
Next Joke
"At the risk of offending my fans, I finally bought an air conditioner"
"What do you call Italian marijuana? A pizza joint"
"I buy my shoes three sizes too big so if I run into a clown posse I'll have automatic street cred."
"""Hey look, a cemetery"" Dad: ""People are just dyin' to get there."""
"What did the Jewish father say when his daughter asked for fifty bucks? What are you going to spend forty dollars on, I mean really why do you need thirty dollars?"
"Believe it or not but my penis was once in the book of Guinness World Records. The librarian got pretty pissed though and kicked me out."
"With grape soda comes grape responsibility."
"Chuck Norris is actually every member of Slipknot. That's how fast he can change costumes."
"I hope fashion in the future isn't all like, weird metal bird outfits. Cuz a bunch of mine just got stolen."