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Joke of the Day

"Believe it or not but my penis was once in the book of Guinness World Records. The librarian got pretty pissed though and kicked me out."

"Instead of yelling, I just say ""Caps Lock"" and then speak at a normal volume..."

"What do you call an Irishman who can't hold his liquor? [OC] A quadriplegic."

"What did the hail storm say to the roof? -Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles"

"My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon It never really took off."

"[Spoiler] Mark Hamill Star Wars joke Mark Hamill is such a loser he didn't even get a single word in the new Star Wars"

"Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house... the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%."

"If you're Russian when you're running to the bathroom, and Finnish when you're leaving, what are you in between? European!"

"Yelp review: Excellent food, friendly service. That said, I did notice a smudge on a window and was forced to set the building on fire"

"I want a coffee so rich and bold it has a cabin in the woods where it hunts humans for sport."