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Joke of the Day
"What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter? 8008132"
Next Joke
"An atheist, a Muslim, and a Born-again Christian are seated together on a plane. They have a pleasant flight because they're not assholes."
"How to catch a polar bear: 1) Cut a hole in the ice. 2) Carefully place peas in a circle around the hole. 3) Hide and wait. 4) When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole."
"When a bite of food falls off your plate... And you just stare at it on the ground like, ""We could've made each other happy..."""
"Whats the worst part about being a news reporter? The shootings"
"""Can you read Chinese?"" ""Yes but only when it's printed in English."""
"If you want my opinion ask my wife"
"My neighbors are drunk & climbing up the balcony. Or possibly being robbed. Whatever."
"You're a Jehova's Witness? What was Jehova accused of?"
"Say what you want about Edward Scissorhands... but I think he's a pretty sharp guy."