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Joke of the Day

"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."

"I just realized Alaska has some really weird city names Did Juneau that?"

"Guy walks into a bar... Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables wrapped around his neck. Bartender said ""alright...but don't start nothing!"""

"What is Nux's favorite browser? Chrome."

"I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats."

"The Worst Journey in the World by Helen Back"

"bowie leaves us and then a 9th planet appears, i don't need to read your science article"

"to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy"

"What should you do if you're in the jungle and come upon a tiger? Say you're sorry, wipe him off, and run."

"What is E.T. short for? It has little legs."