52083

Joke of the Day

"Why are Americans so bad at MOBA games (League of Legends, Dota, Heroes of the storm, etc.)? They can't defend towers."

"Wow you changed your makeup in 16 different hot ways. And where did you learn those 8 moves that drove me wild *sees Cosmo on the table* ah"

"A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The male cashier says: ""You must be single."" He got fired."

"Whag did one cat say to the other? Meow"

"The last person who bought golden oreos at my Neighborhood's Walgreens and realized there was an entire row missing. I'm so sorry.."

"What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast? ... a tectonic plate!"

"Men don't know what it's like to give birth but women don't know what it's like to have children you may not be aware of. Let's call it even"

"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."

"Ever hear about the lost Vikings? Ask the Seahawks."

"Why did the vegetable kill himself? He didn't carrot all."