51929

Joke of the Day

"I know I'll be a great chef some day... it's just a matter of thyme."

"Boobs= not much ass, Ass= no boobs, Ass and Boobs= ugly face, Ass, boobs and nice face= Slut. You can never win"

"I phoned my boss. I said, ""I'm calling in sick tomorrow."" ""But, how do you know you're going to be ill?"" he asked. I swear, sometimes he forgets that he works in a psychic shop."

"What's a pedophile's favorite musical scale? D minor!"

"I read a couple of interesting articles... ""A"" and ""The"""

"I just mixed peanut butter and Nutella together in case anyone's curious why I've suddenly started attending church."

"Why are men afraid of the world? They spend 9 months trying to get out of a woman and the rest of their life trying to get back in."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar and a table. And some chairs."

"Doubt this is welcome in /r/ShowerThoughts but thought of it there. How many rascist Drink names can we collectively think of? I'll edit the best ones into this post. Mine was ""*White Power*-ade""."

"A Cleveland Browns fan passed away In his will, he wrote that he wanted 6 players from the team to serve as his pallbearers, so that they could let him down one last time."