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Joke of the Day

"A cat goes to the vet with a septic infection. Hello Pus, said the vet."

"We are getting up there in age And my wife said to me, ""My best attributes used to be my breasts, but they have been letting me down."""

"Why did the lemon go sour? Because it had Lemon-Aids"

"How do we know burgers love young people? They're pro-teen!"

"I keep nacho cheese handy so in case I start to lose an argument I can pour it on my head and say ""You're arguing with nachos, you idiot""."

"I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR letter to mods AAEEHNPPRWYY"

"What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea? One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs."

"A man gets into an argument with his wife... ...and wins."

"I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial."