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Joke of the Day

"I bet the butcher he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf, but he saidthe steaks were too high."

"if daniel day-lewis dies the doctors will hav to make extra sure he's dead. he may just be acting dead and no one woud ever kno"

"A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, ""five beers, please."""

"Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors."

"What are your best political jokes?"

"if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument"

"What do my dad and God have in common? I've never seen or heard from either of them."

"Sex is like Math. Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don't Multiply!"

"Say what you will about pedophiles..... at least they drive slow in school zones."

"What's the difference between an oral and anal thermometer? The taste"