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Joke of the Day

"I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role? No just toast and marmalade."

"What happens when a Jewish man with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose."

"What do you call the ""Dirty Jobs"" guy beating someone up? A Mike Rowe Aggression"

"Whale dad joke 'Dad, where did I come from?' 'From my penis' 'Oh...thanks.' 'You're whalecum.'"

"What do you call a Cow on the moon? A Moo - nwalker"

"I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout... I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality"

"It would be nice if for once i got a thank you... ...when I serve breakfast in bed instead of ""who are you"" and ""how did you get in here""."

"If I was a ghost, I'd write ""Happy Birthday"" in blood on your wall for your birthday, cuz you may be cursed, but it's still your birthday."

"Today's a beautiful day... After all, nothing beats Mayweather."

"My wife thinks I'm too drunk to take the goldfish for a walk, but I'll show her!"