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Joke of the Day

"When you catch your dog eating a dictionary what should you do? Take the words right out of his mouth."

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"In America, you support the government In Soviet Russia, the government supports you!"
"Maybe your d*ck is so small because half of it is in your personality."
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick."
"I used to curcumcise elephants. The pay wasn't very good, but the tips were huge."
"Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls"
"""Welcome to money management. Have you all paid your $200 entrance fee?"" ""Yes"" ""Excellent, never give money to strangers. Class dismissed"""
"""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ""Itself"" ~History"
"And what's your name?"" the secretary asked the next new boy. ""Butter."" ""I hope your first name's not Roland"" smirked the secretary. ""No ma'am. It's Brendan."""
"Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road? That's none of your damn business. Is he being detained?"
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