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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano? Finding a diseased beaver on your organ."

"Where does bad light end up? In a prism."

"Which female comedienne likes terrible punchlines? BaDum **Trish**."

"My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet."

"When did mathematicians get their independence? March 14."

"My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if."

"It's your first time when you high af and you could feel the earth rotating faster than usual... in the opposite direction."

"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants"

"JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you."

"What started with a J, and ends with whore?"