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Joke of the Day

"[walks up to guys playing basketball] ""mind if I join?"" you any good? Hell yeah I'm good. Toss me the orange sphere"

"Jimmy: What has 100 legs but can't walk? Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it"

"How do you reduce wind-drag on a musician's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof"

"What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !"

"The theme song from The Golden Girls is stuck in my head. and now its in yours too. Your welcome."

"Movie critics have said some negative things about the new movie Jobs... I guess Ashton Kutcher didn't do a good Jobs."

"gluten free cereal. I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it ""NO FUCKING WHEY!"""

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? Because it's two tired. Edit: added ""because""."

"Me and the wife were having a row the other day when, all of a sudden, the strangest thing happened... Our canoe sank."

"Q: What do little trees say on Halloween? A: Twig or treat."