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Joke of the Day

"Show me someone who is ""cheery"" in the morning and I will show you someone who probably knows how to dispose of a body."

"[lumberjack interview] BOSS: I'm gonna ""axe"" you a few questions. Haha do you get it? ME: Yeah I ""saw"" that coming BOSS: Ooo welcome aboard!"

"McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on."

"My job is top secret Even i dont know what im doing"

"When ever My wife is cooking, I like to walk up behind her, slowly stroke her hair and whisper into her ear... ""Let's order a pizza."""

"Girls always tell me I'm a chick magnet... ...set to repel."

"NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: ""NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small."""

"What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman who won't do what she's told."

"An asshole What do you call a person who reads the punchline before the joke?"

"Today is the day I release the coyote I trained on Windows 95 back into the wild."