51309

Joke of the Day

"Aches and Pains by Arthur Ritis"

"Why did Johnny teach the cockatoo to do a front flip? So he could say he flipped the bird. ^I'm^not^very^good^at^these"

"Hey chicks who wear a buttload of make-up. Don't borrow someone else's iPhone to make a call. You leave half of your face on the screen."

"If I like ceilings... Does that make me a ceiling fan?"

"[home] FRIEND: How'd family dinner go? ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here."

"What's the cruelest curse to wish upon a single guy? ""I wish his hands were made of stone."""

"After cribbing about yet another one of my Pranks, I told my girlfriend that she ""Can't take a Joke"" ""I let u put your cock in me don't I"" she replied."

"Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff."

"After spending over 3 decades in the hard candy business, I've had enough... I've finally realized it's for suckers."

"What do you call a group of hookers? A whorde."