19437
Joke of the Day
"A man walks in to a bar His alcoholism is destroying his family."
Next Joke
"How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she can fit into your wife's clothes."
"Wife: ""I saw a huge owl on my way home. Almost hit it with my car."" Me: ""Wow!"" Wife: ""Sorry, the correct response is 'O RLY?'"""
"[praying mantis first date] Female: You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Male: Yeah well, you know, saving it for marriage."
"Why will people with MS never be great artists? They only have MS Paint"
"How can I relax when every aspect of my physical and mental state is governed by something called The Nervous System?"
"Just heard Justin Bieber vowed not to return to the UK after his disastrous tour here. Well done the UK. Well done."
"You know what they say about prostitution? It's not really work if you love who you do."
"What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant? It'll Dimsum."
"*sees a cat yawning* How the hell can you be tired?"