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Joke of the Day

"Don't care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you're male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut."

"What is the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls they are under a buck!"

"Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats."

"hi What did the painter say to the paint can? A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)"

"What type of people can you not stand? People in wheelchairs"

"Jesus loves you. A wonderful thing to hear in church. A terrible thing to hear in jail."

"Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night."

"I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you're right fellas, men are smarter than women."

"I was going to make a chemistry joke... but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction."

"*pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong."