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Joke of the Day

"Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look at the fresh prints."

"A spider crawled across my leg while I was driving and of course that fcuker survived the crash."

"What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ? Santa Clues !"

"So a sloth got robbed by 3 turtles... When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said, It. all. happened. so. fast."

"A cat walked in to a cobblers.. ..SHOE!"

"Wait a sec...That's not how the proverb goes! A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. But once it breaks, you have two really strong chains, which, in some ways, is more useful."

"what travels around the world but stays in one corner? postage stamp"

"Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here."

"Daddy can u get me a drink? ""No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink"" Fine *goes to fridge ""While you're there can you grab me a beer?"""