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Joke of the Day

"Who sculpted Mount Rushmore? George Washington Carver."

"What would you call Jack Black and Jack White's kid? **A dirty abomination you god hating homosexual!**"

"Fortune tellers I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?"

"Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5..."

"I reply to ""Happy New Year"" with ""not if I have anything to do with it."""

"What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm? Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron."

"SPOILER ALERT for ""Finding Bigfoot"" TV show - they don't find him. Again."

"He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor"

"What Men think What is the useless skin around the vagina called? The Women"

"A guy got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick... Now he can play with his money, watch it grow, and you can't find a girl who can't blow a hundred dollars."