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Joke of the Day

"*Spends 30 min practicing Starbucks order in mirror* *Feels confident* *""Hi I'd like a grander ahoy Ralph Macchioatto lateenbay""* *dammit*"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who cloned himself to see what he would taste like? It made him shit himself."

"Did you hear about the opera singing monk? He took a vow of Pavarotti."

"That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone."

"Doctor & Patient F Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Studies show [NSFW] Studies show 9/10 people enjoy gang rape"

"How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to pick up the phone and call some other asshole to do it."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say ""hello"" from the other side."

"A fish swims into a brick wall... Damn."