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Joke of the Day

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

"How do you make a hormone? Kick her in the crotch."

"Why is camping so exciting? Because it's in tents."

"A sign in the Zoo: Please, do no throw bananas in the dolphins' pool! 1. The dolphins do not eat bananas. 2. By now 3 monkeys have drowned. Thanks for understanding."

"The best kind of love is experienced when the person who touches your ass also touches your heart."

"Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter? Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation."

"What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? A woman"

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to die without knowing what 95% of a scientific calculator is used for."

"The girl in front of me sped up so I did too. She started to run, just like me. Then she yelled for help, me too. I wonder what we fled from"

"What do you call a half Irish half Muslim husband? O'Pressive."