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Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't the chemist concerned when she blew up her experiment? Oxidants happen,"

"""Sorry, I fail to see how I 'misled' you when my profile CLEARLY says I'm 'a total cat person'?"" - half-cat/half-person being after bad date"

"I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted."

"Why did the architect have his house made backwards? So he could watch the football"

"I'm certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car."

"They won't give me insurance on my phones anymore, but yet they don't make phones that survive being thrown against walls? It's nonsense..."

"I just got back from a once in a lifetime trip.... ....I'll tell you what, never again"

"Hey, guys! Let's get #Trending trending! Maybe for a moment we'll forget we're all going to die & our bodies will turn to garbage!"

"The owner of hostess just brought the playboy mansion Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs"

"My ex-girlfriend weighed 85 pounds But that's about average considering she's 9"