51008

Joke of the Day

"If you love someone, just tell them. Or get drunk and ""Like"" a whole bunch of their stuff on Facebook in a short period of time.....same shit."

"Why is a firetruck red? You'd be red too if you had your hose stretched that far"

"Look what the cat dragged in! *freaks out remembering I don't have a cat and house was built on top of a pet cemetery*"

"Well, well, well...look who's come crawling back,,, asking me to repair the tire on their wheelchair."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down"

"I've just made a perfume from holy water... Eau my God"

"Apparently the running team had a huge orgy Inter-racial relationships."

"Fact: In the 80s nobody could have sex until someone started playing a saxophone."

"A pirate walks into a bar with paper towel on his head. The bartender says, ""Hey, do you realize you have paper towel on your head?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrrg, I have a bounty on my head."""

"What is the hardest part about bring a pedophile Fitting in btw meant being not bring"