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Joke of the Day

"The Detroit Lions have been given guns to subvert increasing violence in the area... ...local zookeepers fear the worst."

"I fell in love with a prostitute last night, she had literally everything I have ever wanted in a woman My dick"

"I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn't affect the price of Vodka!"

"Two cannibals eating a clown. One of them says to the other: does this taste funny to you?"

"Diagnose Doctor: Well, those results look bad... Patient: How bad are they? Doctor: It depends, how old are you? Patient: I will be 24 soon. Doctor: Pffff, no you won't."

"I had a brain scan, and the results were negative. The doctors couldn't find a brain."

"Why will we never know if Rick James was bald? Rogaine is a hell of a drug."

"I've been diagnosed with kleptomania... when it gets really bad, I have to take something."

"My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport."

"Why did the captain execute the pastry chef? Because his orders were to shoot all desserters."