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Joke of the Day

"How can a mouse kill an elephant? Whispering to an elephant: "" I'm pregnant with you"""

"When I was a kid, we were so poor... If I didn't wake up with a boner on Christmas, I wouldn't have anything to play with."

"I wish ""friends with benefits"" meant your friends paid all of your bills."

"Him- I saw you over here sipping your wine. Me- You clearly have me mistaken for another very attractive woman, because I don't sip wine."

"I walked into my local fishmongers when i saw the manager of the store slapping his penis with a fish. I **cod** not believe it!"

"Bill Clinton was surprised to find his old sandwich maker is ahead 12 points in the polls."

"What do you call someone who can't stop reading Nancy Drew novels? A heroine addict."

"When would a discount be a bad thing? Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free."

"What happened to the american man who broke his leg? He went... broke."

"TIL %90 of statistics are made up. The other %10 comes after you make a title."