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Joke of the Day

"What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the party? ""Namaste"""

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. but then I changed my mind."

"Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger."

"I got tired of our restroom smelling like other people's crap so I placed a chunk of mine behind the hot air vent."

"I just finished watching the Curt Cobain documentary... It ended with a bang."

"What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee? A humdinger."

"I once had this amazing handicapped friend. He wanted to be a stand up comedian."

"deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio"

"Judge: You shot him. How do you plead? Me: Bleed? NO. He was the one bleeding Judge: HAHA Me: HAHA *High five? Judge: Ten years with no bail"

"Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up."