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Joke of the Day
"Happy penis to Sigmund Freud. What? No, I'm pretty sure I said ""birthday."""
Next Joke
"""My only 2 hobbies are waving and telling you my age, unsolicited of course."" - Every two year old ever"
"Doctor told me I will die soon. Bastard found out I was banging his wife."
"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."
"Natural Rights - opposite of natural lefts"
"A Mexican gets deported."
"What's the difference between Elliot Rodger and an egg? [x-post from r/4Chan] An egg gets laid before it cracks. [Source:](http://i.imgur.com/L4kXpw8.jpg)"
"Why are Ice Cream Truck music so loud ? NSFW To muffle the sound of the captive kids that are held captive"
"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."
"Goddammit, my parole officer says none of my RTs count towards community service. This has been a huge waste of time."