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Joke of the Day

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish person? None."

"Her: 'Do I look, like, fat?' Brain: no,no,no,no Brain: Of course not. Brain: Say SOMETHING Mouth: 'Like a fat what?' Brain: Oh dear God"

"Anglo/German Dad Joke Q: What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull? A: 10:45"

"Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless."

"Rocket Ship Did you hear about the rocket ship that didn't go up to space? It had projectile dysfunction"

"I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship."

"Q: What's green and has wheels? A: Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels."

"So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland. ""Well"" he said ""the flag is a big plus!"""

"Flappy bird is like the new angry bird except this time I am the angry one."

"Why can't Sluts Count to 70? Because 69's a mouthful!"