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Joke of the Day

"Wife: can you pick up milk? Me: [lifts gallon] yea it's easy Wife: I mean from the store Me: I would imagine it weighs the same there too"

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"YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF BEING ADDICTED TO METH IS?!? ONLY ONE MORE NIGHT TILL CHRISTMAS!"
"Why Does Dr. Pepper Come in a Can? ...Because his wife died."
"What do you call a fish with no eyes. A FSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad"
"Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail? Because they couldn't cross the streams."
"""I'm sorry Mickey, I can't file divorce just because you think Minnie's silly."" ""Your honor, I don't think you understand. She's *fucking* Goofy!"""
"I dig, She digs, He digs, They dig, We all dig.... Its a beautiful poem....very deep."
"What's a French person's favorite video game system? The Wii! (Oui)"
"The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably."