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Joke of the Day

"A stallion with a smoking habit kidnaps hookers. So basically a hoarse horse hoards whores."

"What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch? Moo Mitch, get out the hay"

"In case you wondered how much patience I have for questions today, I just told my 4-year-old the sky is blue because I said so."

"One positive of Arnold Palmer's passing... He's six under for the first time in years..."

"Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot? Jurassic times call for Jurassic Measures."

"Three stages of a man's life . . . . . Want to stand up Want to stand up Want to stand up"

"If two vegans don't like each other.. Is it still considered beef?"

"I've decided not to have children The kids are devastated."

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."

"I think my entire family is racist. I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me."