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Joke of the Day

"A stallion with a smoking habit kidnaps hookers. So basically a hoarse horse hoards whores."

"Before you bludgeon to death that drifter who broke into your apartment and passed out on your futon, ask yourself: when did I buy a futon?"

"The concept of Santa is great because you can give your kids crappy gifts and they only have themselves to blame."

"Rob thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on *to copilot* STOP CRYING, ROB WILL HELP"

"Somebody called me a racist today! I mean I think they did, it's so hard to hear through these white hoods."

"Why was the Astronaut cold? He forgot to bring a space heater."

"What did hitler say on his cake day? YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN USING THE OVENS FOR THE FINAL SOLUTION!"

"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."

"What do you call mexicans who are stoned? Baked beans."

"Tell my WiFi love her."