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Joke of the Day

"Why did Adele cross the road? Because she wanted to say: > Hello from the other side..."

"I sometimes think of Siri as my wife on account of her voice & how she's always misinterpreting what I'm actually f'ing saying."

"Why do I watch the Cosby show? I enjoy dark humour. Yes, this was both a rapist and racial joke."

"What's good about Switzerland? Not much, but the flag is a big plus."

"Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!"

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ...they pass a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""wanna go in there and get shitfaced?"""

"I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, ""1920x1080""."

"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy."

"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."" - neighborhood drunk"

"[thoughts of person talking to me]: He's furrowing his brow, he must really be listening! [my brain]: How do cows make cheese"