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Joke of the Day

"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street... An they see a young boy. The priests says, ""you want to screw him?"" The rabbi says, ""out of what?"""

"How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream."

"What do you get if you cross a Mexican with an Irishman? A redhead who can tan."

"How do you get three old ladies to say the ""F"" word? Yell ""BINGO!"""

"Driving a BMW is like show and tell every day. Where you're Showing off how small your penis is and you're Telling the world."

"*at funeral* ME: I know how you feel FRIEND: Dont bring up the time you only got yel-- ME: One time I only got yellows in my Starburst pack"

"What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming? My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

"Interview Tip: When you get the ""where do you see yourself in 5 years"" question, don't say ""post-apocalyptic tribal warlord""."

"Tumblr actually likes Preston Garvey That's it, that's the joke."

"Did you hear about the recent theft from the Louvre in Paris? Three paintings were stolen. The thieves took the Renoir to get the Monet to get their Van Gogh."