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Joke of the Day

"I'm at the vets..... A man opposite me weeps with an empty cage in his arms. I'd be crying too if I were that forgetful."

"Teach a man to fish and he will evolve to become so skilled at it that he destroys the ocean and kills every last fish. Nice one education."

"Why doesn't anyone like jelly donuts? They have fillings too..."

"Forgot to turn on the oven. Food's been in there for 45mins. I know, cause I set the timer."

"What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!"

"Why do /r/Planetside moderators dislike the Death Star II? It's a trap."

"Women are like potato chips... They better come with my sandwich."

"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you."

"""It's a boy! "" Frank exclaimed. ""It's a boy!"" And he never visited Bangkok ever again."

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them"