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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested? Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of crack. - OPRAH AND AIRPORT SECURITY"

"I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip Our relationship was going downhill."

"""Daddy, are we poor?"" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. ""Compared to my friends?"" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt."

"[world series game 1] Wife: where are our seats? Hamlet: 2b... Wife: there are people there Hamlet: or not 2b"

"What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI? My Grandma can unlock an iphone."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Castro ! Castro who ? Castro bread upon the waters !"

"i dont see why i should have to brush my teeth. you dont brush the rest of your bones, do you? its ridiculous."

"If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician."

"Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."

"Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""