18869

Joke of the Day

"If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician."

"So here i am sitting at a bar when a beat up blonde walks in. She ran into many bars."

"Why don't men like going Downtown with women? Because eating-out can be so expensive."

"Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't."

"My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor... She didn't suit me."

"They should make an alarm clock that plays the sound of my dog about to throw up."

"Why did the accountant go crazy? He started to hear invoices in his head."

"Do you think Reese Witherspoon calls her kids Reese's Pieces cause I hope so."

"Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"A limerick for The Isle of Skye When I was on the Isle of Skye I overdid the old Spanish fly I had a stiff member From the fourth of December Till Friday the tenth of July"