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Joke of the Day

"MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Bleecker St. You insisted you weren't choking and put up a good fight."

"Viagra shipment stolen... Hardened criminals on the loose."

"Now that we have finally started to accept LGBT people inour society... ...I think Iowans will soon follow"

"When I was a kid, we were so poor... If I didn't wake up with a boner on Christmas, I wouldn't have anything to play with."

"Since the presidential race has literally a dick measuring contest... who would win the election if the election is decided by dick measurements? Hillary Clinton of course!"

"Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !"

"Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit? Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola."

"As I walked down an alley today, I was accosted by what I thought was an angry, needy turnip. It turned to be a ruder beggar."

"What an upset manly clock with boobs says to another manly clock with boobs who doesn't arrives in time for their homossexual dating? You man nipple lated me"

"How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows. But everyone's got an opinion."