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Joke of the Day

"As I walked down an alley today, I was accosted by what I thought was an angry, needy turnip. It turned to be a ruder beggar."

"Boobs= not much ass, Ass= no boobs, Ass and Boobs= ugly face, Ass, boobs and nice face= Slut. You can never win"

"Met a microbiologist this morning He was bigger than I expected."

"Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented ""that sounds delicious""."

"Mama Bear: Ok but last time Papa Bear: Thanks, babe [she puts on a Goldilocks wig] Mama Bear (falsetto): I can't sleep here! It's toooo hard"

"I remember when I used to hang out with the lead singer for Limp Bizkit... They were the Fredst of times, they were the Durst of times."

"How do you know when you're REALLY drunk ? ANS - When you are lying face down in your front lawn and you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off."

"Who invented the round table? Sir Cumference"

"""It's not about who's right or wrong."" ~ The person that is wrong"

"""Hacker"" simply means ""a person who is skilled with computers."" To describe a computer criminal, use ""Linux user."""