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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did Thoreau build a house? A: Because he wanted to be walled-in."

"Where did Santa meet his wife? Conjunction Junction. They specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses"

"Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ."

"I warned everyone that I take charades seriously and now three people are crying"

"Wife: ""I think I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"I need to get baked ...goods for the staff party this afternoon."

"I'm a huge fan of politically incorrect jokes. Listen to this absolute classic: ""Abraham Lincoln was never president""!"

"I brought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday You should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because Bill threw a mattress at him."

"My Black friend was pissed off that he didn't get a job he was totally qualified for so I told him to ""lighten up"" we're no longer friends."