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Joke of the Day

"I asked my doctor how bad my breath is. ""You see that broccoli over there?"" he pointed. ""Yes..."" I replied. ""That was a cauliflower before you started talking."""

"I hate those people who knock on your door... And tell you that you need to be saved or you'll burn... Stupid firemen."

"Hitting the snooze button... ... Is just starting your day off with a nap."

"What did the seven dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up? Well, it looks like its back to jerking off."

"What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup? Erdogone"

"Why, in the United States, do we not have the letter ""u"" in words like ""favourite"" and ""colour""? Because fuck u and no one likes u, that's why."

"Telling people my costume is Obama's birth certificate. If they say I have no costume, I fucking explain the facts to that racist fuckbag."

"My snowboarding career has really gone downhill."

"I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music... and call it Brian Beano."

"The last airline I flew charged for everything. Except for the bad service. That was free."