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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength? I'm pretty humble. Actually, I'm incredibly humble. Amaaaaazingly humble."

"A joke I made up from The Revenant Why did Glass gut the horse? He just wanted to fit in."

"What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode? SKU me"

"#TT At 14 I yelled, ""You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!"" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over."

"I always get worried when I hear Chris Brown has a new hit out. I bet it's an uppercut"

"What do banks and the US government have in common? They both deal with checks and balances."

"Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor? Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse."

"Originally I didn't like having a beard but then it grew on me."

"If there was such a thing g as competitive Bible Study, would the championships be called prayoffs?"

"Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own? Because it's too tired."