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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Aids."

"How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. They just keep going on and on about how the last one broke."

"The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation."

"""Dayyuuuum Giiiiirrrl... Did you fall from Heaven?"" *pokes body with stick*"

"At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks This joke brought to you by my ten year old son"

"I asked my Spanish friend if he knew what potassium is... He didn't. All he said was ""Que?"""

"Apparently Sepp Blatter has resigned to spend more time with his family... ... And his shreddder"

"A nurse puts her hand in her pocket and finds a rectal thermometer... ""Oh no! Some ass hole has my pen"""

"Did you hear the one about Sandusky at the beach? A father walked up to him and said, ""get out of my sun!"""