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Joke of the Day

"At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks This joke brought to you by my ten year old son"

"Before you go to sleep tonight, don't forget to sprinkle gluten around your bed to keep away the hipsters."

"So I found a hair in my pasta.. AN ANGEL HAIR! lololol"

"Before taking viagra, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Riiight."

"Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him? It was an emergent sea."

"What did one architect say to the other? ""I see the floor in your plan."""

"My first subtweet was in the 3rd grade when I added extra glitter to Nathan's Valentine."

"A man walks through the forest and sees a shark passing by ... the man asks 'Hey shark, shouldn't you rather be in an ocean?' Shark says 'Yeah, I should.'"

"What has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree it'd kill you? A pool table"

"How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!"