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Joke of the Day

"So Samsung released a new knife! Its brand new cutting-edge technology"

"What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"How do we know that God isn't a woman? Because we're not all sandwiches"

"how do you get a cat to say like a chicken freeze it and bang it against the table and it says: gog gog gog"

"Reddit? More like...Eddit"

"Why did Hitler prefer apples to oranges? He didn't like the juice."

"Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home."

"What's ISIS favourite meal? Turkey! Its the bomb!"

"Have you heard of McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."

"China has one of the largest manufacturing and exporting economies in the world. What product of theirs is most commonly exported? Newborn girls."