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Joke of the Day

"There's been a lot of scammers claiming they're from the electric company calling to get payments from overdue bills... They're getting pretty crafty- they even turned off my electricity."

"Tattoos are like dead babies Even if you peel the skin, they're still there"

"I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat."

"We built this city on rock n roll, bits of hair, couple of pieces of carpet we found. It's a horrible place to live honestly."

"Roses are red Violeta are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I"

"Two men walks into a bar Knock, knock"

"What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth."

"What do you call a group of invading pirates? An **Arrr**my"

"I overheard a guy complaining angrily about the NSA tracking him Some people are so annoying when they have a chip on their shoulder."

"If my penis was an inch longer.... ....it would be a foot."