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Joke of the Day
"When do you use duct tape on a duck? When he's quacked."
Next Joke
"A dyslexic man robs a bank.... He then reads aloud ""Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up!!!"""
"And then the devil said, ""tell her to calm down."""
"My music teacher told me to stay on key I said ""pitch please"""
"There's just 1 thing u can count on: fingers. And calculators. 2 things. Oh abacuses. Three. Jeez Im gonna need to make a list. Lists. Four."
"On a flight I asked the guy behind me if he minded me reclining my seat. He said he did. It really put my back up."
"Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts."
"Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods. It's so they have something to unwrap."
"Dear lord thank you for these noodles I'm about to eat, ramen"
"The Irish have announced they've sent a peace keeping force to Ukraine. They've managed to secure the city of Chernobyl without any resistance!"