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Joke of the Day

"Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods. It's so they have something to unwrap."

"Saw Helena Bonham Carter walking down Wardour Street earlier looking every inch the mystical vagabond. Was tempted to rub her head for luck."

"How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb? Amen."

"What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? ""Han So-High"""

"Sometimes you have to cook ur own food and jerk off in front of your girl to show her that she can be replaced."

"I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family My wife freaked the fuck out"

"What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg? Chocolate Ice Cream in July!"

"let us all return to a simpler time, such as when i believed astroturf was farmed in space and brought to earth"

"A man is walking around a costume party dressed in green with a woman on his shoulder When asked what he was he said he was a tortoise. Then when asked about the woman he replied ""she's Michelle""."

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."