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Joke of the Day

"Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods. It's so they have something to unwrap."

"What do Pink Floyd and Dale SR. Have in common? Their last great hit was The Wall"

"It's 'before' not 'B4'... We don't speak Bingo here..."

"Hey chicks who wear a buttload of make-up. Don't borrow someone else's iPhone to make a call. You leave half of your face on the screen."

"A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt dusted himself down and said ""OK who moved my dog?"""

"What do you call an arctic bear that goes both ways? Bipolar."

"NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food *camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression"

"Darth Vader says to Luke 'I know what you're getting for Christmas'. Luke: How could you know that? Darth: I have felt your presents"

"reminder: the best way to say benedict cumberbatch is to the tune of photograph by nickelback"

"My voicemail message is just me sighing for 20 minutes."