49700
Joke of the Day
"I'm so fresh... ...I get put in the produce section."
Next Joke
"When people don't laugh at my jokes I just assume that they're not up to my level of comedy."
"""Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."""
"If I had a parrot I'd teach it to say ""I know where they buried the bodies"""
"[Meeting] *Gestures to pie chart* ""Now as you can see this chart is not nearly as delicious as it sounds."""
"Men do what they want and skip the rest. They're straightforward. If he doesn't call, he doesn't want to talk. If he calls, he's horny."
"When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: ""Guess who?"" for 2 weeks."
"Nothing like an episode of ""I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"" to make you feel like a Harvard double major."
"What did the Chinese man give his daughter? A clothes hanger."
"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strokin-off"