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Joke of the Day

"I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case."

"Have you heard about the curator of the Slavic History exhibit? He's forever Russian around, Czeching that everything gets Polished"

"it has been suggested that men think about sex every 8 seconds I can tell you that's a complete phallus"

"I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones."

"What do you call a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy who is well-endowed? A Hung-Ariyan."

"Did you know the anthem of the USA is about a Mexican immigrant? The first line is even about how he got in illegally at night: ""Jose can you see, by the dawn's early light..."""

"She has a coy pond. All the pretty fish swim away when you try to feed them."

"Christmas song for people with synesthesia: do you see what I heeeaarrr"

"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people But none of them work"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had"