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Joke of the Day
"Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."
Next Joke
"If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants."
"""I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."" Will Shriner"
"How many apples a day does it take to keep everybody else away"
"My wife's a biology teacher... This morning she asked how I wanted my eggs. I told her, ""Ovariesy."""
"#BrexitIn5Words He's just not into EU"
"How does an Asgardian like his parties? Loki"
"Eight dwarves are in a tub, feeling happy Happy got out now they're all fucking grumpy Edit: seven dwarves, sorry"
"What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres? PUNisher"
"I always have too much month left at the end of my money."