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Joke of the Day

"If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants."

"I need another name for a dinosaur. I should consult the Thesaurus."

"What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"I play Jenga on the first date... so she knows my pull out games strong"

"Honey, what is the name of that German that hides things around the house? Alzheimer grandma, Alzheimer!"

"the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? The P is silent."

"I'm currently between relationships. The couple on my right are kissing and I think the couple on my left are about to start doing it."

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"Why can't a W-boson get a girlfriend? He can't even last a femtosecond!"