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Joke of the Day

"Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face."

"Damon girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face sure shows it."

"Briefly explain 'hard water' ice"

"Your mother is a head turner By that I mean that the gravitational field of her planetary body is trying to pull my head in orbit"

"In Australia what doesn't kill you is probably just saving you for the sharks."

"I killed a squirrel once with a car. Twice with a tennis racket."

"I got into an accident a few days ago. The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said ""oh, thank god."" The doctor said ""why are you so happy?"" I said ""that's where the blood is supposed to be!"""

"Did you hear that someone stole all the toilets at the police department? The police said so far they have nothing to go on."

"Did you hear about that actress that stabbed herself? Reese something? No it was with her knife"

"What is the biggest mistake Steve Jobs ever made? He thought it was ""being at Apple every day"", not ""eating an apple every day""."